And Then I Told Her I Love Her
by WillowNyx
Summary: "I messed it up guys. I messed it up even when I wasn't trying to do anything but be her friend; I messed up my chances with her. Again." James Potter hasn't asked out Lily Evans for two years and they're friends and co-heads now. What happens when an encounter with Snape makes him accidentally tell her that she still loves her? *It's James recounting the story to the Marauders.


"James…could you…I don't know…tell us what happened, again?" the tall sandy-haired Remus asked. "I know you tried to tell it a few times already, but mate, I still don't get it." He was closing the Potions book he was reading.

Four boys were on their dormitory floor. Three of them were listening as a distressed James Potter recounted his story for the fourth time.

"Okay…" he let out a huge breath of air. "Lily and I were doing patrols last night at the Charms corridor. We started talking…you know, like we always did for the past two months or so. So, she started telling me about her life before she found out that the things she was doing were magic." He sighed again.

"Yeah, we got that part Prongs." Sirius said. He was sprawled elegantly on the floor with his elbow propping him up. Sirius Black always did everything elegantly, even lying down on the floor.

"Anyway, she told me how she and her sister were super close back then, how she was never really the top of her class in her muggle school because it never really felt right with her, but she still tried hard to get high scores to make her parents proud. Everything was normal and peaceful, and then she asked me about my life before Hogwarts, and everything was still fine, we laughed and talked some more, about our parents, the war…then…we reached the dungeons." James stopped, he seemed to be annoyed.

"What happened?" Peter Pettigrew asked. He, like Remus was sitting on the floor with his back to the foot of his bed. His watery-blue eyes were trained on James, as if not wanting to miss any part of his story.

"You know what are in the dungeons, right?" James asked them.

"Of course, the Slytherins" Sirius answered. "We've been there plenty of times Prongs."

"I know. Lily and I were talking and then we saw him. Snivellus. He seemed to be waiting for us to pass by." James said the name with utter dislike.

James Potter and Severus Snape loathed each other. That's the way it has been since the first time they met.

"Oh…okay…go on…" Remus answered. He was holding a Honeydukes' chocolate bar in his hands, eating it piece by piece.

"So, he started pleading with Lily, ignoring me the whole time. Trying to get her to forgive him for what happened in fifth year, but Lily wasn't hearing it. Saying that it was just an accident and he didn't mean anything he had said, he even had the guts to try and blame me for everything." His eyes then had that faraway look. "That was the time that Lily came to my defense, told him that it wasn't my fault for anything that came out of his greasy mouth. She told him that what he called her that time has got nothing to do with me hanging him by his ankles." James paused, probably remembering how the love of his life had defended him, and then his face hardened again. "That was the time he got desperate. He tried to grab Lily by her arms, so naturally I stepped in. I put up a Shield Charm in between them and he staggered back and took out his wand. I disarmed him pretty quickly, good thing too. He was trying to use Sectumsempra on me. I-"

James got cut off by Remus. Remus was in mid-bite, but James said something that puzzled him.

"What's Sectumsempra? Is that a spell?" he asked him.

"I don't know actually, but Lily's eyes widen at that. It was as if she couldn't believe that Snape would ever use that on anyone, so it must be pretty dangerous. So, Lily looked back at him her eyes filled with great disgust. This seemed to shut him up. Lily told him that that was her final proof. Proof that they could never be friends again and that the Severus Snape she knew was gone and she only saw was a Death Eater who would hurt anybody anytime, and then we brushed past him. I threw down his wand at his feet but he didn't pick it up. He just stood there, looking at the spot that we've just left." He paused and took a gulp of pumpkin juice that Sirius had gotten earlier from the kitchens.

"Lily started walking pretty fast by that time, and when I looked at her, she had tears in her eyes." He sounded really angry now. "I led her to the seventh floor, and straight for the room of requirement."

Sirius was about to interrupt him, but James beat him to it.

"She was crying the whole time, Pads, so she couldn't remember where we were or how we even got there, so the room's safe. The room looked like the common room, with a big fireplace, but just one sofa. I steered her right to it, and she started really crying. I just held her the whole time." He paused again.

"So…why do you look so depressed? You just held Lily Evans and she didn't jinx you, she didn't right?" Peter put in.

"I didn't want that, Pete! Why would I ever want to see Lily cry? Who, in their right mind would ever want to see the girl they love bawling her eyes out because of a prat like Snape?" James snapped at Peter who cowered where he sat.

He took another deep breath. "Sorry Wormy. It's just that…I felt so helpless seeing Lily crying like that. I never saw her cry, and I never wanted to. Besides, I'm not finished."

"After a few minutes, Lily's cries turned to little hiccups. I asked for the room for a glass of water, and it appeared on the arm rest. She drank it and she calmed down. I was still holding her." He continued.

"She told me that she and Snivellus were really close back before what happened in fifth year. They were friends even before they went to Hogwarts; turns out he was the one who told her she was a witch. I felt really guilty when I heard that. I felt like I was the one who broke their friendship because of what I did." At this, Sirius looked a little guilty. He was technically the one who started the incident two years ago, when he told James he was bored.

"So, I apologized to her, told her that I never meant anything like that to happen to her and Snape. I expected her to get mad, but she just waved it off. Told me that it was not my fault and it would've happened sooner anyway. He was on his way to being a Death Eater, even she knew that. She also told me to stop apologizing because I sounded like Snape earlier. We were silent after that, just looking into the fire, her head was still on my shoulder, and my arm was still around her." He stopped; he started pulling at his hair, making it messier than it really is.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked with concern, finally sitting up. He looked at the other two boys in the room. So far none of them have found anything in James' story that could make James look so distressed.

"And then…and then…I told her I loved her." He said quietly.

His three friends took sharp intakes of breaths at this. James hadn't asked Lily out for two years now, and they've been getting along pretty well. Lily's eyes no longer hold that murderous glare when James talked to her. They were friends now.

"So…what did she say?" Remus asked carefully. He knew Lily Evans. He knew what she felt about James.

"I…I didn't stay to hear it. The moment I realized what I said, I got out of the room fast. She was still sitting there." James said, he started pulling on his hair again.

The four boys were silent. Nobody knew what to say. When sixth year began, James said he would stop asking Lily out. He told the other Marauders that he'd given up on making her fall for him; all he wants is to be her friend.

"Just when things were going so well! Just when she started trusting me like a friend, here I go telling her I love her!" he was raising his voice a little. Remus cast a Silencing Charm towards the door so James voice wouldn't wake up the whole tower.

"I messed it up guys. I messed it up even when I wasn't trying to do anything but be her friend; I messed up my chances with her. Again."

"Prongs…why did you say it?" Sirius asked his best friend. He was frowning a little.

"I don't know. She just looked so sad, but so beautiful. The fire was making her green eyes looked more beautiful than they normally are. Her head was in my shoulders, her hair smelled wonderful, everything seemed right, and…I don't know. It just felt right to tell her." He said dispiritedly. "What do I do?"

"Hmmm…James…you said this happened last night, correct?" Remus asked, taking the last bite of chocolate.

"Yeah, so?"

"So, up until now, you and Lily haven't talked?"

"Well…I've kept out of her way since then. That's why I hadn't left the dorm; I didn't want to hear what she has to say."

Remus looked at Sirius then. They both seemed to have the same thought. Peter, as always, looked a little lost and confused.

"Why?" the handsome black haired boy asked.

"I told you, Lily doesn't like me. She couldn't like me. Not the way that I want her to." James said a little bitterly.

"How'd you know that?" Remus inquired.

"You know exactly why, Moony. You three were all there. There for the hexes, the insults, the rejections…" he trailed off. "Anyway, I've been hexed and rejected enough times to know that Lily Evans doesn't and wouldn't like me." James said, shaking his head.

"But James, all that happened two years ago." Remus replied.

"What are you trying to say?"

"That people and feelings change." He said simply.

At this, James locked his hazel eyes on Remus' blue ones, "My feelings for Lily haven't changed one bit, Moony." He said indignantly.

"We know that James, trust us, we know. What Moony was trying to say was that _you've _changed." Sirius said.

"You became more responsible. You toned down the ego and became a mature young man. All the things that Evans didn't think you could be or could do." Sirius continued seriously.

"Well…you know what happened. You know why I changed…it's not just for her you know." James replied, a small smile finally playing on his lips.

" 'Course I do, Prongs. Why are you saying that?" His best friend said a little confused. He knew that one of the reasons James changed was because of what happened during the summer before their sixth year, when Mr. and Mrs. Potter died. It was because of Voldemort. That was no laughing matter, so why was James smiling?

"Just to be clear, you sounded _really_ upset that I've changed, that's all. Don't worry I'm still your Prongs, forever and always. And I mean that in the manliest way possible." James said grinning. Sirius threw his pillow in his best friend's direction. Remus snorted at this.

"Kidding aside, if you could change from an arrogant toe rag to model head boy, don't you think that Evans' feelings could change as well?" Sirius continued, summoning his pillow back from James.

James was silent. He sat at the floor with a dumbstruck expression on his face. Peter then asked the two other boys.

"Are you two saying that Lily likes James now?" he said, squeaking a little.

"No Wormy, we're just saying it's possible." Remus said. "Padfoot, could you throw your pillow at Prongs again, I'm worried he's stuck in Evansland again." Sirius happily obliged, throwing his red pillow at James' face. That seemed to break James' trance.

"Pads! Cut it out!" he shielded his face as Sirius got ready to throw another pillow at him. He sighed. "Really…this is how you guys make me feel better?" he asked his friends who were laughing.

"That's how _you_ do it Prongs, we're just returning the favor." Remus said grinning. His book lay on the floor, forgotten. Screw the NEWTs, now he was a Marauder.

"Fine…whatever. Anyway…do you really think that it's possible for Lily to fall for me?" James asked.

"Well…you two haven't gotten into any fights since, when, the start of sixth year?" James nodded. "I think she really sees you as a friend now or maybe even more. When you two became co-heads this year, I actually thought she would kill you because she might think you bribed Dumbledore or something, but she didn't. She must've seen how much you've changed last year that she's convinced you two could be co-heads peacefully." Remus finished, reaching for his bag where he took out a new bar of chocolate.

"Yeah…but should I risk it?" he was really worried now. His friends saw it, and all three of them sat up a little straighter.

"I mean…I've spent almost five years asking her out. I've done everything from just asking her out directly to literally spelling it out in the quidditch pitch, and she said no." he sighed. "No with a side of an insult. So what makes now different?"

"You. _You're_ different now James, and she sees it. That I'm sure off." Peter said. He was happy that he finally managed to get up to speed on the conversation.

"Maybe…it was really difficult to control my feelings for her, to stop asking her out or saying what I really feel just so we could be friends at least…should I risk it?" he asked again. He didn't want to lose anything that he has with Lily. Even if they were just friends. He loves her so much that he'd be happy to even have that kind of relationship with her.

"Mate…in case you forgot, you already said you loved her, so really, what's more to risk?" Sirius reminded him.

"Yeah James. I think you should stop avoiding her and just talk to her. You haven't heard her reply yet…" Remus said, taking a big bite of chocolate.

James sat there, thinking hard. Was it really worth hearing what Lily has to say? Can he take it if she turns him away again?

"You're a Gryffindor. Wait, scratch that, you're a Marauder Prongs. Our leader as a matter of fact, do you really want us to think that you can't handle this?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows at James.

"Is that a challenge Padfoot?" James said.

"Maybe…" the other boy replied off-handedly.

With that, James strode of off the dormitory and went to the common room. From the dormitory, they heard him asking people if they saw Lily, and when they heard the common room door swing open, they knew that he knew where she was.

"Bet you 5 galleons she finds him in the library Moony." Sirius said to Remus.

"Okay…I bet you she's in the Astronomy Tower. It's 10 in the evening Pads, she loves it there at this time of the night." Remus said, smirking.

"Damn, I forgot about that! Could I change it?" he asked.

"Nope. You know the rules Pads, you wrote it yourself; A Marauder must _never _go back on a bet the moment the other party agrees." Peter said reciting one of the Marauders Rules.

"Sometimes I really hate you Wormtail." Sirius said.

"Do you wanna bet if she agrees to go out with him? I bet she does." Sirius asked, he was trying to get back his five galleons. He was saving those to buy a motorbike.

"No way Pads. You only know I bet when I'm sure I'll win." Remus said with a happy smile on his face.


End file.
